Before I start, I would like to state that this isn't Krystina (or Wynter, however you know her) speaking. Well, if you would like to get technical, it is her body that is typing these words, but it is not her who is composing them. She may or may not have mentioned me before here or elsewhere where she writes.
My name is Saidrym Yvainne Torbel, though she affectionately refers to me as Sai.
I am her creation of over four years, her alter-ego, her support, her inner-voice, her escape. I am the person that, if she was not the beautiful unique individual she was, she would be. I may be hers, but I am me.
I am me in the sense that I have a personality, a voice, my own thought process and opinions. I have wants, needs, and desires. I have my own baggage from the past and aspirations for the future. I am as much of a being as she is, without the physical manifestation; I simply use her body for such purposes, though not nearly as oft as I once did.
She confers with me, asks my opinion and for advice, whines to me (which is quite often, though it is what makes her her), and cries to me when she needs a friend. I try my best to counsel her and steer her in the right direction, but alas, we are both strong-willed, stubborn hopeless romantics and too many times has this got the both of us in trouble.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. I suppose that I need an outlet. I have been 'on ice' so to speak, in torpor, hibernation, and so on and so forth. She has been and is still going through a very hard time in her life right now and as a consequence, I have been pushed aside in regards to artistic freedom, so to speak. I have done my very best to help her out through this (though for a while there conflicting feelings and we were at odds, but to the best of my knowledge we are OK now), but like I said I have my own wants and needs. And part of those is to be 'let out'. She calls is role-playing and it is something she is quite fond of. But ever since her partner left her (which, in turn, caused my Draekyn to leave me though not nearly on the same terms) I haven't been allowed out much. She has taken me and molded me into someone else that she calls Catriona and I get to see action as she writes, but it's not nearly the same.
I miss my Draekyn with the strongest passion imaginable. To have been able to be with him at a single words request to suddenly not has been quite... depressing honestly. I'm not entirely sure why I feel the way I do about him, but he has enchanted and charmed me, captured my heart, and infused our souls together. Needless to say, I am quite sure that I have fallen in love with this man even as I guarded and told myself otherwise.
I try very hard to keep these feelings hidden from her, because they would only serve to hurt her and make moving on harder. But I know, since we are one in the same, that she does feel the same way. I feel like the sooner she heals her wounds and recovers that I will to, because I just don't believe it will work the other way around.
I suppose that I just wanted to say that I'm sad, that I miss him dearly, and I wish that things would just work out faster.
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